Hard News

I got hard news today.  Not life-shattering news or anything, but not good news.  The kind of news that makes you want to either kill a man or go home and sleep for three days on the couch.  Either way, those both seemed like options when I got the news.  The moment I heard what I heard, I had this very real and very clear thought.  So clear, in fact, that I ignored part of the news to notice how substantial the thought was.  And here’s what spun in my head as I took in the pile of information that made my day what it’s become.

When someone gives you information, either good or bad, the messenger should be in a position, both physically and emotionally, appropriate for the news they’re delivering.  A message of “The War is Over!!!” wouldn’t come from a sorrowful and bitter voice.  The statement, “We got your test results back, and it’s not good,” would not be filled with laughter and smiles.  Those would seem like acts of a madman.  Part of having a soul is knowing good from bad and right from wrong… or so I’ve heard.

When I was receiving my news today, it was coming from a smiling face.  A face that seemed to say, “We’re ok with this.”  But the news was quite different.  The news was more, “This isn’t something you’re gonna want to be standing for.”  That’s quite misleading.  It’s unnerving.  And it’s grounds for a good swift kick to the Don Johnson.

I didn’t do any kicking.  I didn’t even freak out and tear up the driveway on the way out.  I just quietly accepted the news and tried very hard to let it go.  I’m sure that within a few days, I’ll come up with a good plan of action to change the news I got.  But until then, I’ll just say this… look out, dude, because when you’re not looking, you may get a golf club shaped bruise somewhere between your knees.

The Latest

It seems like It’s been a little longer than I’d hoped.  I really tried to post regularly this fall, but here I am writing a post after probably a week (or more) after a truly long day of eating things I shouldn’t, doing things I shouldn’t and acting in ways I shouldn’t.  Here’s a numbered list* (in no particular order) of the things that are new and/or interesting in my world these days.

1.  I got engaged

2.  I spent Thanksgiving with my fiance & family at Disneyland

3.  I bought a Cadillac

4.  My morning job got a new website.

5.  Christmas is in a month.

 

*Who doesn’t love one of those?!?!

Patience

I drive roughly 30 miles one way to work every day.  I don’t mind the drive… I kind of like that half hour/45 minutes to mentally prepare myself for a big day or to decompress from a long day.  Not that I enjoy spending a large sum of money on gas every few days.  Or the wasted 3-4 hours per week just sitting in a car.  But the commute isn’t terrible.  That is, it WASN’T terrible.  Until days like today.

I94 has this very strange and mysterious way of becoming a parking lot at rush hour*.  Last week, State Troopers had people pulled over at four mile increments, which made every vehicle slow way down and get into the passing lane.  I’m not sure how the police did that, but it was somehow magical.  The four mile separation caused a twenty mile freeway commute turn into an hour & a half drive.  Today was a totally different story.  There were three accidents within three miles of each other.  The first was a semi truck that flipped over in the westbound lane (I was headed east).  For reasons that I can only assume are based on the noseyness of people, the eastbound lane was at a dead stop for five miles while people got their fill of wreckage, then drove away.  A mile further down, two cars (who I would be willing to bet a vital organ were gawkers from the first accident) somehow bumped into each other and exploded with car parts thrown across the westbound lane.  Again… several miles of backup so people can see dead bodies**.  And the final accident was a frozen food truck that had either broken down in a lane or had run over a poor old chevy van or something.  There was something behind the semi truck’s rear axle, but I couldn’t tell if it was the truck’s cargo or a vehicle’s remains.  Because the truck was in the road and there were emergency personnel running back and forth from fire truck to frozen food truck to the ambulance to the oncoming traffic, there were several more miles of back up.  Quite a morning commute.

Maybe it’s time to stop commuting.  My nerves are shot… and it’s been 4 hours.  Granted, I WAS on the same 1 mile patch of freeway for 45 minutes.  Maybe I’ll take the rest of the day off to calm down.  Or maybe it’s time to rethink that hypertension idea.

* I use the term hour loosely.  It’s really more like three hours at either end of the work day.

** By bodies, I actually mean vehicles, not people.  There were no people in the cars at the time of collision.  Those people were still back watching the 1st accident victims get taken away in ambulances.  Looking back, that is probably the biggest cause of their accident.

Yes, Of Course!

November fifth, nineteen-fifty-five!  It was a red letter day in the history of time travel.  Doctor Emmet Brown fell on the toilet while hanging a picture in the bathroom, hit his head on the sink, and when he regained consciousness, had a vision for the Flux Capacitor.  Now, obviously we have no real time travel… yet… that we know of.  But we do have an amazing set of movies that sure help us see what time travel would be like.  The Back To The Future trilogy has been on my shelf for about six years.  I’ve picked up one of the three dvds maybe a few times since I purchased the set.  Next week, however, I’m going to try to watch the whole kitten-kabootle*.

 

*I have NO idea what a kitten kabootle is.  But if TV has taught me anything, it must be a makeup tackle box for young cats.

Oh, the Morality!

I’m tired at the office today.  And I’d like very much to walk across the parking lot to the building that has the couches in it and lay down for a short nap.  However, I feel pretty bad taking a nap during the work day.  The problem is this…  I don’t want to be literally sleeping on the clock.  But I also see other people I work with checking their ebay marketplace and watching cartoons and reading magazines about parenting children with ADHD.  So what’s the difference between me sleeping for half an hour and another guy wasting that half hour doing anything but work?  I have a pretty good feeling that we both get more productive after our diversions.  I wonder how other people do with spending office hours doing things other than work.  (Ironically, instead of working OR sleeping, I’m writing a blog from work.)

PS

I got engaged on Tuesday, October 20th to Jeannette Lockard, the world’s greatest woman. Here’s a picture of us… she’s the pretty one.

I Have This Problem…

There are things in my life that I don’t like. It’s true. I don’t like that I have two part time jobs. I don’t like that I’m slightly addicted to Craigslist. I don’t like that no matter how hard I try, I’ll never be able to sightread Rachmaninoff. And I don’t like that all of these things that I don’t like are my own choice. I can do something about those things (mostly), but I choose not to. And I hate that. But there is one thing that I can do. I can choose to get over those things and get on with life. So here goes nothing.

Why Zales Is The Greatest Guy On Earth…

Can I tell you how much I love Zales, inc.? Well, there are, in my mind, three things that stand out to me as key reasons for being the best corporation under the sun. Perhaps I should change my designation. It’s not that they’re the greatest company. It’s more like this… if Zales were a person, I’d want them around. Not because they’re commitment to integrity or excellence or standing by their work. Oh no. I’d want to be around Zales (the person) because it’d be like watching a train wreck at every interaction with people. Everybody wants to be friends with the time bomb, right? Here’s my short list.

#1. Zales, without a single exception, blindly apologizes for everything. If I say that I ordered a ring on the Zales website, a customer service rep tells me that it’s their fault and they promise to do all they can to make the situation right. If I say that the ring I purchased was not the ring I ordered, a rep tells me that they understand and are sorry for the inconvenience and that they’ll do whatever they can to make the situation right. This is the kind of guy you want around. I’d love to have the guy around me that before any other words were out of his mouth, “I’m sorry” was first. ESPECIALLY if he made promises that in no way whatsoever could he possibly begin to fulfill.

#2. Zales has the amazing talent…. nay, super-power of being able to give customers wrong items when purchased. You order a blue necklace. You receive a blue watch. You order a gold chain. You receive a gold pin. You order a size 7. You receive a size 6. I would love to see a person do this in the real world. You ask that guy for a high five and he kicks you in the nuts. Priceless.

#3. Zales has a way of forgetting things. Not just normal things like first names and social security numbers, either. Things like what items you’ve requested, received incorrectly and returned. Things like refunding your hard-earned cash. I love the thought of having that guy around when it comes time to pay for a meal out. The waitress brings the bill, then that guy forgets that he’s even had anything to eat & doesn’t pay. I want to see that play out.

All that to say this… Zales might be the coolest guy to be entertained by. I know I’d enjoy watching him do terrible things to his world. But Zales corporation…. not as much. I don’t want to say that I’d never deal with Zales, inc. again, but it would take a very, very good reason for me to. EVER. All of THAT to say this… Zales sucks and I’m pretty sure their employees don’t have souls. I’ve checked.

It’s Only Time, Right?

I’ve been leading worship at a small church for about a month on Sunday nights. The extra pay is great, the larger ministry footprint is awesome and the new friends are really neat… But the time commitment is less than healthy. Every Sunday I leave Chelsea after church and go straight to the other church for practice, then have the service and after a few handshakes and a laugh or two, I’m on the road again. The drive is about 1:30 with traffic and is kind of stressful for a road-rager like me. Under perfect settings, the drive would be 10 minutes and I could spend my Sunday afternoon on the couch with my GFF. But in trying to save up a little cash for she & I, I took this job… And it ironically takes me away from her. But my contract ends next Sunday. I’m looking forward to that.

I have this same feeling about othr stuff. When I go to camps and weekend retreats that take me away from my people and my places, my heart starts leading me back home long before the events are over. Why is that? Why do I ignore the great things happening around me? Well, I’m sure that love has something to do with it. But what is that takes my focus off of the here & now and puts it on the there & then?

I can’t think of one thing, to be honest. I guess I’m just a home body, I guess. Looks like my world-tour dreams can be put to rest. Unless I buy an RV and a driver… Then not only is my home with me on the road, but my rage doesn’t come out.

Junior high volleyball

The panthers of Paragon are taking on the Will Carleton Academy’s cougars… Even as I type this. I have an in with the panther coach, so I got a really great seat. I’m not sure how many people are in the situation I’m in right now, but I really hope I’m not the creepy guy today. I don’t know any players, and I’m certainly not a staff person at an elementary school (I would never have enough time to get any coffee consumed.). I’m the coach’s boyfriend, but NOONE knows that sitting around me. So this afternoon as I watch volleyball, I’m just a sports enthusiast… Well, sort of.