I came to a very difficult decision this morning on my 30 minute commute.  There’s a very strange pattern I’ve seen lately that has been somewhat disturbing to me.  People have been applying nascar decals onto their vehicles… and not nascar vehicles.  We’re talking about 89 Dodge Shadows, 91 Ford rangers and 97 Honda Accords.  These are not cars and trucks that should be associated, in any way imaginable, with nascar… or nascar’s good buddy, formula 1.  I get a little angry when I see somebody’s great-aunt Sylvia driving her vintage Crown Victoria down the freeway (at 56 mph in the fast lane, no less) with a sticker that shows her proud support of driving fast.  So my plan, which can be yours, too, if you’re interested, is this….

When you see a vehicle that has some sort of nascar logo or number or paraphenalia of any kind, give them a little bump.  Maybe pull up behind them and drag (follow so closely behind them that you are covered by their air stream).  Perhaps you could pass them on the left shoulder, then get directly in front of them and hit your brakes.  Or maybe just push them into the median.  The way I see it, if you’re in support of the event, then you’re in support of the behavior.  Let’s see how quickly the nascar fans scratch those stupid numbers off of their rear windows*.

first minivan copy

*Most nascar fans can’t put their nascar bumper stickers on the bumpers due to rust, so the back windshield is normally where they’re permanently installed.