My childhood best pal is getting married on Saturday.  A big deal in my life.  Not only because he’s my great buddy… but also because he’s honored me by asking me to be his best man.  And not only that, but he’s also asked me to officiate the first section of the wedding.  I’m not saying I’ve never done a wedding before, (I’ve actually done three, thank you), but never one for someone I have to interact with on a very regular basis afterward.  The best man part, I have no (maybe just a little) problem with, but the officiation of the ceremony creeps the stink out of me!  And here’s why…

When you sing a song at school or church or at a party or a camp or in the shower, when you forget words, it’s not a big deal.  Sure, it’s slightly embarrassing, but nothing you won’t get over.  But when you sing a song for a wedding, you never recover.  You’re forever known as the guy that forgot the words at that couple’s wedding.  One day, at a divorce hearing, your name will come up as exhibit 14j, or ‘the guy that forgot the lyrics,’ and then ‘the guy that ruined our marriage.’  I really don’t want to be that guy, ya know?  And even more… oh-so-much-more, I don’t want to be the guy that says something really stupid in the middle of a wedding ceremony.  So my stress level has become significant this week.

How do you say “you’re called to this marriage, so don’t screw it up” without saying that… or using big and multi-sylabic words?  Anybody have the cliff notes on wedding ceremony design?