I’ve come to a conclusion.  I think that some times, in some instances, I find contentment in terrible situations.  Obviously the word ‘terrible’ is absolutely relative.  At any rate, It’s really strange to think of how an otherwise harsh or uncomfortable situation can seem almost wonderful and freeing.  And I think this is why…

When pressure leaves, it seems to me that there’s a relief.  Like taking off shoes that your feet have outgrown.  And when tension is released, the recoil is freeing.  Like letting go of one side of a taught rubber band.  What a great relief to be able to go back to normal.  But how do we (I) let ourselves (myself) get into the tension/pressure that creates the problem?  I suppose it all comes from desire for something ‘other’.  And what I mean by other is this: sometimes I want something so badly, I’m willing to deal with anything to get it.  I’ll wear those tight shoes, I’ll be that taught rubber band, knowing that when the pressure leaves, the thing I so desired probably will have gone with it.  But I keep on.

All that to say this… the more pressure I endure, in the long run, the stronger I become… or so they say.  Unless I, instead, am like a camp bed frame… the heavier the kid that sleeps on me, the more stretched and unusable I become.

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